Are You A Fighter Or A Defeater?
It is an excuse to end your efforts with the philosophy of "It will never happen for me."
It is also an excuse to declare defeat when efforts were not prominent enough.
I think it has got to do with a person's confidence and self-esteem.
Ever thought of wanting to achieve in for example, conquering a stage fright, overcoming presentations, getting a high distinction for an exam, etc.?
This situation came across to me many times and to be honest, I appeared the latter instead.
Identify What Negates The Well-being: Fear & Confidence
Two things that stopped me from achieving are fear and confidence.
And to add it on, I complicate them by thinking a lot and mostly about the bad side of it.
I have been reflecting a lot and recalling how I felt and what came in my mind when I want to get certain things done.
I used to supervise and manage a group of check in agents and the thought of it might be great as I see the positive side of managing - fostering teamwork.
But as the period of managing and supervising goes by, I encounter many difficulties and forgot about the goal of fostering teamwork.
I became rather negative when I was tasked to officiate for a team, mostly worried and in fear.
Soon, constant worry and fear became self-doubting and in the end I lose confidence. I lose the significance of my role, I lose trust in myself and I lose faith too.
With the negativity in my head, it is impossible to get things done properly..
But there were times when I felt good, good in a sense that I set achievable goals for myself to achieve in that day, for example, being happy and learn to empathize.
I began to speak up, and open up myself. I blocked out the negativity that I usually hold in my head and surprisingly, things went well more than I expected.
Identify The Indicators & Measures
Over the period at university, I kept questioning myself, what am I feeling and why am I feeling this way. It has been a new feeling which I am still managing and to be honest, I still screw some things up.
Just yesterday night, I identified that stress is causing me to screw things up.
I am actually glad that I have identified this indicator so that I can manage it well before my exam period.
The measure that I am going to take would be identifying what is causing me to be stress? In my case, multi-tasking causes me to stress out.
I am a poor multi-tasker. My boyfriend can vouch for me.
I suck at talking while texting, I suck at doing work while watching the TV and other stuffs.
What To Do After Identifying?
According to a column from Forbes by J. Kleiman (2013),
"It has been scientifically demonstrated that the brain cannot effectively or efficiently switch between tasks, so you lose time. It takes four times longer to recognize new things so you’re not saving time; multitasking actually costs time. You also lose time because you often make mistakes. If you’re multitasking and you send an email and accidentally “reply all” and the person you were talking about is on the email, it’s a big mistake. In addition, studies have shown that we have a much lower retention rate of what we learn when multitasking, which means you could have to redo the work or you may not do the next task well because you forgot the information you learned. "
I will stop what is hindering my progress and attend to the ones on hand. So I need to learn to manage my multi-tasking by doing check lists. Check lists helps me to keep track what else I forgot to do (that is why I cannot multi-task!!!) and keep up with what is most important. But it is also one thing which I need to manage it well.
You thought you could not but ask yourself, how did you even survive all these years and go through obstacles which are difficult for you.
From a baby, walking was a difficult challenge but you have succeeded. And then speaking becomes a difficulty of yours but you have overcame and now you are not only speaking but knowing how to write.
And then comes to your first day of school, making new friends, going through tests and exams and then getting a first job and working right now.
It is not what you could not but what you could but not what you expect it to be.
Ditch away the identified negativity because, you will see more of what you can do instead of what you could not do.
Do me a favour? Trust and have faith in yourself.
Focus on what you can do instead.
Reference: Kleiman, Jessica. 2015. “How Multitasking Hurts Your Brain (and Your Effectiveness at Work).” Forbes. Accessed July 9. http://www.forbes.com/sites/work-in-progress/2013/01/15/how-multitasking-hurts-your-brain-and-your-effectiveness-at-work/.